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You’ve spent all this time creating a home you love.
Now use it.
Sit on the nice sofa.
Light the expensive candle.
Use the pretty dishes.
Put your feet up.
Invite people over even if everything isn’t finished.
Let the dog on the bed if that’s how you actually live.
Cook in the kitchen you worked so hard on.
Don’t create a beautiful home and then become afraid of living in it.
Your home is here to serve your life. Your life isn’t here to serve your home.
Your Home Doesn’t Need to Be Picture Perfect
I think social media and design magazines can make us feel like our homes need to be in pristine, tip-top shape all the time.
And that’s just not reality.
We’re constantly consuming homes in their most curated moments, and I think sometimes it’s easy to forget that. I mean, I definitely get caught up in it myself.
The pillows have been fluffed.
The counters have been cleared.
The toys are gone.
The cords have magically disappeared.
The lighting is perfect.
Nobody’s half-finished coffee is sitting on the table.
That’s not how life works.
I promise you, everyone else’s home does not look perfect at every single moment either.
And there’s nothing wrong with cleaning your home, caring about how it looks, or enjoying a beautifully styled room.
I mean…I obviously do. It’s what I do for a living!
But I’ve also realized that expecting our homes to look like a professionally styled photograph every hour of every day is completely unrealistic.
Real homes have:
Laundry.
Dog toys.
Shoes by the door.
Mail on the counter.
Dishes in the sink.
Blankets that aren’t perfectly draped.
These are signs that people actually exist there.
A lived-in home and a beautiful home are not opposites.
Stop Saving the Good Stuff For Later
I am SO guilty of this.
I’ve caught myself not using something because I’m waiting for the “right” moment.
But at some point I started thinking…
What exactly am I waiting for?
Something could happen tomorrow. Life could change. Why am I saving the things I love instead of enjoying them now?
Use the nice dishes that never leave the cabinet.
Drink out of the fancy glasses.
Burn the expensive candle you’ve been saving.
Use the beautiful hand towels.
Sit in the room nobody sits in.
Curl up under the blanket that’s supposedly “too nice” for everyday use.
Obviously, if something is precious, irreplaceable, or genuinely needs to be preserved, that’s different.
But otherwise?
What are we saving it for?
The ordinary Tuesday-night dinner is worthy of the pretty plates too.
And if something eventually gets worn, stained, chipped, or damaged because you actually used it?
Try to remember what it gave you while you had it.
Maybe that plate was part of hundreds of family dinners.
Maybe people you love gathered around those glasses.
Maybe that sofa has an indent because that’s the spot where you always curled up with your pet at the end of the day.
These are things.
Their value doesn’t have to come from remaining pristine forever. Sometimes their value comes from being part of your life.
Let Your Home Hold Real Life
Your home is going to witness things.
Birthdays.
Christmas mornings.
Friends gathered around the table.
Lazy Sundays.
Arguments.
Sick days.
Bad news.
Good news.
People coming home.
People leaving.
Pets growing old.
Kids growing up.
Quiet mornings when nobody else is awake.
Takeout eaten on the sofa.
Big celebrations and completely forgettable Tuesdays.
Our homes really see the true us.
And how freaking beautiful is that?
There aren’t many places in life that witness so much of who we actually are.
This is something we talked about all the way back in Dream.
Dream asked:
What kind of life do I want this home to support?
Live says:
Now let it support that life.
And I think that’s such a beautiful full-circle moment.
Mess Is Evidence That Life Is Happening
One day, you might wish you could create the mess again.
Now, obviously, I’m not saying you should never clean your house, because you should.
And I’m definitely not romanticizing living in constant chaos that makes you stressed.
Trust me. I am one of those people who cannot stand mess, dirt, and clutter.
But I’m trying to remind myself of this too.
A kitchen gets messy because people cooked together.
Toys cover a living room because children played there.
Blankets get thrown everywhere because everyone piled onto the sofa for movie night.
The guest room needs to be cleaned because people you love came to stay.
Sometimes the very thing making your house look imperfect is evidence that the house is doing exactly what you designed it to do.
It’s being lived in.
And someday, your home might be quieter.
The toys might be gone.
The dog bed might not be sitting in the corner anymore.
The people who used to fill your dining table might not all be there.
You might find yourself wishing you could go back for one more ordinary day when everybody was there making a mess.
The goal isn’t to love the mess. It’s to remember what the mess represents.
And that is making memories while life is happening.
Make Memories, Not a Museum
Homes aren’t museums.
They’re interactive.
They’re places where we:
Host dinner.
Have sleepovers.
Bake something and get flour everywhere.
Move the coffee table for game night.
Actually sit on the furniture.
Use the backyard.
Have Christmas morning in the living room.
Drink wine out of the glasses we love.
Play music.
Dance in the kitchen.
Or do whatever living looks like for you.
Later in Live, we’re going to talk about everyday routines, gathering, seasons, caring for your home, and all of the things that help a home support your life.
But before any of that, I want you to give yourself permission to simply experience it.
Live in it.
Use it.
Make the mess.
Embrace some of the chaos.
You didn’t create your home so you could stand back and admire it. You created it so you could have a life inside it.
Care For Your Home Without Becoming Controlled By It
You worked hard for this home.
Take care of it.
Clean it.
Maintain it.
Protect the things that need protecting.
Repair things when they need it.
Respect the investment you’ve made.
We’re going to talk much more about caring for your home later in Live.
But there’s a difference between:
Caring for your home and being afraid to use your home, and a home can be cared for deeply and still be lived in fully.
I believe the truest form of caring deeply for our homes is allowing them to actually be lived in. We care about the memories made here. The people and pets who live here. The things we’ve collected and love. Caring for our homes isn’t just about keeping them clean, protected, and pristine. It’s about creating a place where life can actually happen. Living in our homes is part of caring for them.
There will probably always be something that needs cleaning, putting away, fixing, organizing, or maintaining.
That’s part of having a home.
Care for the things that matter.
The house will still be there tomorrow.
Let Go of the Idea of a “Finished” Home
The goal was never to reach some magical moment where everything was installed, styled, photographed, and then frozen forever.
The actual goal was to create a home you are proud to live in.
That’s the reward.
Sit on the sofa and look around.
Think about all of the decisions you made to get here.
Think about what this home looked like when you started.
Think about what you’ve created.
And let yourself think:
Wow. I’m proud of this, and I’m so lucky I get to call this HOME.
A Home Well Lived
We dreamed about the life we wanted our home to support.
We prepared for it.
We built the foundation.
We curated the layers that made it ours.
And now?
We live it.
Years from now, I don’t think you’re going to remember whether the pillows were perfectly fluffed.
You probably won’t remember the pile of mail sitting on the kitchen counter.
Or the night you didn’t get the dishes done.
But you might remember who was sitting beside you on that sofa.
Who gathered around your table.
The dog who always slept in that one spot.
The holidays you celebrated.
The people who came through the front door.
The traditions you created.
The hard seasons your home carried you through.
And all of those completely ordinary moments you didn’t realize would someday become memories.
That’s a home well lived.
A beautiful home matters. But the beautiful life happening inside it matters more.
Next in Live → Create an Everyday Home That Supports You
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